carcography

Blog Suicide

I had been blog contemplating suicide for quite some time. It actually took the courage of my e-friend K, who took the plunge in the summer to push me over the edge. Naturally, I chose the most passive method possible. I thought if I just ignored my blog it would simply die of neglect. Recently, a number of people asked me about my blog and why I no longer updated. That prompted me to check this thing, only to realize that the hit counter has been steadily increasing. Maybe increasing at a far slower rate, but increasing nonetheless. I honestly had no idea these people even knew my blog existed. I just assumed that the only people who read this were my parents, Elijah and people who use my blog to link to my sister's funnier blog. Actually my parents might fall into that latter category as well.

Anyway, I still catch myself on occasion thinking "wow, I can't believe I just witnessed or experienced that. That would make a funny blog!" But alas, I'm done with blogging. For one, I'm tired of massacring the English language. There was a time when I actually cared about being grammatically correct. I think that died right around the time I discovered the term "LOL". Of course the main reason I'm stopping is because I am tired of exposing myself so publicly. I tried so hard to make my blog the antithesis to other blogs. You know, the blogs that people use to show the world how "cool" they are, because they go to all the right parties, travel to all the right places, drink all the most fab wines, and of course, eat only the most pretentious of food. In doing so, I ended up trying hard to be overly dorky and self-deprecating, and over exposing my greatest insecurities. I now know why people put on web personas. I should have started by not using my full name as the domain name to this blog. I think having a blog stalker (you KNOW who you are....) didn't help.

I tried reading some of my old posts before deleting them, but I couldn't stop cringing at the grammar mistakes and the fact I had actually published some of that stuff!

Anyway, some thanks are in order, since I will never win an Oscar, a Grammy or even a Genie or Juno...

Firstly, thanks for not being all annoying by sending me emails about my grammar mistakes. Actually there was a guy I USED to know who did that several times. He was actually only right 25% of the time too. What's more annoying than being corrected? Being corrected incorrectly.

Secondly, thanks for not shoving my insecurities back in my face.

Finally, just thanks for reading. Every exhibitionist needs an audience, right?

The show is officially over.

One last thing...Valentine's day is one of the worst machinations for which this world has ever fallen! It should be banned.

posted by Carmen @ 5:07 PM